General Audience Articles
“In real life, not all interruptions are rude” The New York Times September 25, 2021.
“I talk to my father every day, though he died 15 years ago. His voice is lodged in my ears.” USA Today June 20, 2021.
“A Father’s Day quest: Unraveling the mystery of your dad” The Wall Street Journal June 19, 2021.
“My father was once hard to reach. As he aged, the words began to flow.” The Washington Post June 18, 2021.
“I spent years obsessed with ‘Helen,’ my father’s girlfriend and my mother’s rival” The Washington Post April 9, 2021.
“An Interview with Deborah Tannen” Q&A with Kitty Kelley, Washington Independent Review of Books December 22, 2020.
“The trouble with counting interruptions in a debate.” Los Angeles Times October 20, 2020.
“Taunts and abuse: On what really happened between Donald Trump and Joe Biden.” Literary Hub September 30, 2020.
“After WWI, Jewish Warsaw crumbled; in my father’s memories, it lived on.” The Forward September 15, 2020.
“How I finally got to know my father by asking about his past.” The New York Times September 11, 2020.
“How the pandemic has changed the way we greet each other.” The Washington Post June 21, 2020.
"Lost in translation: The different ways men and women talk about troubles." Bumble's The Beehive January 26, 2018.
"My mother speaks through me." The New York Times September 19, 2017.
"Why men and women talk past each other about their problems." Thrive Global August 24, 2017.
"The gender war we must stop fighting." New York Daily News August 13, 2017.
"Women friends like to handle conflicts by talking them out. But does it work?" The Washington Post August 7, 2017.
"The truth about how women talk—and whether men listen." TIME's Motto June 28, 2017.
"It's not just Trump's message that matters. There's also his metamessage." The Washington Post June 9, 2017.
"Why friends ghost on even their closest pals." TIME May 16, 2017.
A linguist breaks down what we really mean when we call our friends 'close.'" New York Magazine's Science of Us May 2, 2017.
"The (sometimes unintentional) subtext of digital conversations." The Atlantic April 27, 2017.
"Women's friendships, in sickness and in health." The New York Times Well April 25, 2017.
"Why what you say in private looks bad in public, even if it isn't." The Washington Post October 28, 2016.
"Donald Trump used sexism to attack Hillary Clinton. He lost." TIME October 10, 2016.
"The sexism inherent in all that interrupting." The Washington Post October 7, 2016.
"When friends are 'like family.'" The New York Times March 25, 2016.
"The self-fulfilling prophesy of disliking Hillary Clinton." TIME March 15, 2016.
"Our impossible expectations of Hillary Clinton and all women in authority." The Washington Post February 19, 2016.
“Why daughters and mothers tangle over hair.” Me, My Hair, and I: Twenty-Seven Women Untangle an Obsession, ed. by Elizabeth Benedict. New York: Algonquin, 2015. Reprinted in: American Prospect 26:3 (July 2015).
“’Bossy’ is more than a word to women.” USA Today March 11, 2014.
“Would you please let me finish...” The New York Times October 17, 2012.
“Filming the Supreme Court won’t help justice.” The Washington Post December 7, 2011.
“Why is ‘compromise’ now a dirty word?” Politico June 15, 2011.
“Arizona’s Sheriff Dupnik and the ‘vitriol’ debate: Two words matter that much.” The Christian Science Monitor January 11, 2011.
“Why sisterly chats make people happier.” The New York Times Science Times. October 25, 2010. p. D6.
"The joys and sorrows of sisterhood." HuffPost blog post September 8, 2010.
"He said, she said." Scientific American Mind 21:2 (May/June 2010). 54-59.
"Donahue talked, Oprah listened." The New York Times November 29, 2009, p. 8.
"Who is your mother’s favorite?" HuffPost blog post November 24, 2009.
"The secret bond that sisters share." HuffPost blog post November 16, 2009.
"My rivals, my solace... My sisters." The Washington Post September 6, 2009, pp. B1, B2.
"As we grow older, everything is illuminated." Personal essay, The Washington Post September 28, 2008, p. B2.
"Hillary Clinton, through a lens wrongly." The Washington Post March 8, 2008, p. B3.
"The double bind." Thirty Ways of Looking at Hillary: Reflections by Women Writers, ed. by Susan Morrison, 126-39. New York: HarperCollins, 2008.
"Our Hillary problem," a conversation with Deborah Tannen and Donna Brazile. More Magazine October 2007, pp. 185-187, 262.
"Who does the talking here?" The Washington Post July 15, 2007, p. B7.
"Moms are people too." Los Angeles Times May 13, 2007, p. M7.
"Mom's unforgiving mirror." The Washington Post April 10, 2007, pp. F1, F7.
"A brain of one’s own," review of Louann Brizendine, The Female Brain. The Washington Post August 20-26, 2006, 1, 3.
"Every move you make." The Oprah Magazine August 2006, pp. 175-176.
"Moving violations." The New York Times July 1, 2006, p. A27.
"The good fight." The New York Times May 14, 2006, p. 13.
"And in my corner." The Oprah Magazine May 2006, p. 267.
"Mothers & daughters." People Magazine May 8, 2006, p. 155.
"My mother, my hair." Los Angeles Times January 24, 2006, p.
"Oh, Mom. Oh, honey." The Washington Post Outlook Section January 22, 2006, pp. B1, B4.
"The Feminine Technique." Los Angeles Times March 15, 2005, B11.
"Time for talk." Newsday January 30, 2005, pp. A38-A39.
"The many reduced to one." Los Angeles Times Sunday January 16, 2005, p. M3.
"We need higher quality outrage." The Christian Science Monitor October 22, 2004, p. 9.
"Being president means never having to say he’s sorry." The New York Times October 12, 2004, p. A31.
"We the Government." The American Prospect 8:15 (August 2004), pp. 34-35.
"Quips replaced substance." USA Today June 7, 2004 p. 21A.
"The one who repeats an insult is insulting you." Good Housekeeping March 2004 p. 116.
"Let them eat words." The American Prospect 8:14 (September 2003), pp. 29-31.
"Hey, did you catch that?: Why they’re talking as fast as they can." The Washington Post, January 5, 2003, p. B1, B4.
"With age comes a clearer connection." The Washington Post, June 16, 2002, p. B5.
"Dangerous women," review of Phyllis Chesler, Woman's Inhumanity to Woman, The Washington Post Book World March 10, 2002, pp. 1,3.
"For her own good," review of Elisabeth Gitter, The Imprisoned Guest: Samuel Howe and Laura Bridgman, the Original Deaf-Blind Girl and Ernest Freeberg, The Education of Laura Bridgman: First Deaf and Blind Person to Learn Language. The Washington Post Book World July 24, 2001, p. 9.
"What's that supposed to mean." Reader's Digest July 2001, pp. 103-107 (adapted from I Only Say This Because I Love You).
"Why dads don’t talk." San Jose Mercury News June 17, 2001 p. 1C.
"Why guys don’t seem to listen." Cosmopolitan May 2001 p. 90.
"Mom's the word." Modern Maturity May 2001 (excerpt from I Only Say This Because I Love You).
"I'm sorry, I’m not apologizing, OK?" Los Angeles Times April 16, 2001, p. B7.
"Stand up for yourself." Good Housekeeping April 2001, pp. 140-143, 196.
"Bush's sweet talk." The New York Times January 20, 2000, p. A23.
"TV's war of words." Brill's Content September 1999, pp. 88-89.
"Listening to men, then and now." The New York Times Magazine May 16, 1999, pp. 36-40.
"We're debating ourselves to death." Newsday April 19, 1999, p. A29.
"Contrite makes right." Civilization Magazine April/May 1999, pp. 67-70. Guest editor, entire section on apologies.
"Freedom to Talk Dirty." Time February 22, 1999, pp. 46-47.
"Listening in on Girl Talk." Newsweek November 30, 1998, p. 28.
"Just say you’re sorry." Town and Country November 1998, pp. 168, 174.
Review of The Death of Outrage by William J. Bennett. The Washington Post Book World, September 13, 1998, pp. 1, 14.
"Apologies: What it means to say 'sorry'." The Washington Post Outlook August 23, 1998, pp. C1-C2.
"'I'm sorry' as a sign of weakness." Los Angeles Times August 19, 1998 p. B7.
"Oprah Winfrey" (essay for issue profiling "Artists and Entertainers of the Century")." Time June 8, 1998, pp. 197-98.
"Why women still like Clinton." Los Angeles Times Sunday, April 19, 1998, p. M5.
"Dialogues/diatribes." Saint Paul Pioneer Press April 14, 1998, p. 7A.
"For argument’s sake." Washington Post Outlook Section March 15, 1998, pp. C1, C4. (Digital version here.)
"'Argument Culture' fuels Clinton Scandal." USA Today February 5, 1998, p. 13A.
"Why boys don’t know what girls mean and girls think boys are mean." 33 Things Every Girl Should Know, ed. by Jill Davis. New York: Crown, 1998, pp. 63-67.
"I'm sorry, I won’t apologize." The New York Times Magazine Sunday July 21, 1996, pp. 34-35.
"The guru gap." The New York Times June 29, 1996, Op-Ed page. Reprinted in Speaking of Hillary, ed. by Susan K. Flinn. Ashland, OR: White Cloud Press, 2000, pp. 127-129.
Review of Howard Kurtz, Hot Air: All Talk, All the Time. The Washington Post Book World February 4, 1996, pp. 4-5.
"The gift of gab survival." The Washington Post Outlook Section December 24, 1995, pp. C1, C2.
"The power of talk: Who gets heard and why." Harvard Business Review 73:5, 1995.
"The talk of the sandbox." The Washington Post Outlook section, December 11, 1994, pp. C1, C4.
"You can talk your way through glass ceiling." USA Today Op-Ed page, December 15, 1994, p. 11A.
"How to give orders like a man." Excerpt from Talking from 9 to 5 on indirectness. The New York Times Magazine August 28, 1994, 46-49.
Review of Russell Martin, Out of Silence. Washington Post Book World July 3, 1994, pp. 3, 12.
"Gender gap in cyberspace." Newsweek May 16, 1994, pp. 52-53.
"A diversion that’s costing us all." Los Angeles Times April 5, 1994, p. B7.
"Forward from nowhere," review of Somebody Somewhere by Donna Williams. The New York Times Book Review April 3, 1994, p. 25.
"The triumph of the yell." The New York Times January 14, 1994, p. A29.
"The writing life: Where'd all the fun go?" The Washington Post Book World November 21, 1993, 1, 10, 11, 12.
"Marked women, unmarked men." The New York Times Magazine June 20, 1993,18, 52, 54.
"The real Hillary factor." The New York Times October 12, 1992, Op-Ed page. Revised version reprinted in A Virago Keepsake to Celebrate Twenty Years of Publishing. London: Virago, 1993, pp. 93-95.
Review of Dirty Politics: Deception, Distraction, and Democracy by Kathleen Hall Jamieson (Oxford University Press). The Washington Post Book World September 13, 1992, pp. 1-2.
"You can say that again." The Washington Post Outlook Section Sunday August 2, 1992.
"Linguist lashes back: It's, like, no big deal." USA Today Op-Ed page June 8, 1992.
Review of Silencing the Self: Women and Depression by Dana Crowley Jack. The New York Times Book Review October 20, 1991, p. 20.
"How to close the communication gap between men and women." McCalls May 1991, pp. 99-102, 140.
"Born to be wild." Review of Robert Bly, Iron John: A Book About Men (Addison-Wesley). The Washington Post Book World, November 18, 1990, pp. 1-2.
"Talking New York." New York Magazine September 24, 1990, pp. 68-75.
"CrossTalk: Women and men talking." The Professional Communicator 10:30 (Fall 1990), pp. 6-7, 19.
"Sex, lies, and conversation." The Washington Post Outlook Section June 24, 1990, p. C3.
"When you shouldn’t tell it like it is." The Washington Post Outlook Section March 1, 1987, p. D3.
“Linguistics: Did you say what I just heard?” The Washington Post Outlook Section October 12, 1986, p. D3.
"'Why can’t he hear what I’m saying?'" Reprinted from That's Not What I Meant! McCalls January 1986, pp.20-24.
"Language keeps women in their place." St. Louis Post-Dispatch October 12, 1984. Also appeared as "How the Instilled Gender Sense of Words Handicapped Ferraro," Baltimore Evening Sun, November 9, 1984, p.A15.
"Saying what one means." Replacement for William Safire column, "On Language". New York Times Magazine July 29, 1984.
"Conversational style: When men and women talk, why don’t we say what we mean?" Vogue October 1982, pp.185-192.
"Talking New York: It's not what you say, it’s the way you say it." New York, March 30, 1981, pp.30-33. Reprinted in Eastern Airlines Review September 1981, pp.26-31, and Language Power, ed. by Dorothy Seyler. New York: Random House, 1986.